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Feasting Imagery Is Our New Theme, Aaaand Also Our Old Theme

By Daniel Dessinger on · Follow: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter
raising a glass at sunset

When I launched this website in the Fall of 2005, I thought I was preparing the way for an online bookstore. I’d acquired hundreds of books and was entering their data into a database for the purpose of selling online. The feast was originally a feast of knowledge, as made apparent by my bookstore’s selection of great works.

Imagine a bookstore brimming with Baudelaire and Camus, Hess and Goethe, Hemingway and Eliot, Herodotus and Eusebius, Hawthorne and Whitman, Fukuoka and Shephard.

Then the site transitioned into a culture blog, and the “feast” represented a savory sampling of pop culture topics and trending ideas.

Then the site died. Literally died. Poof! It was gone and nowhere to be found. For years.

Then it was reborn. And the Feast is now a vision. It’s a prophecy. It’s a bold prediction of a future we wish to see.

We are not doom and gloom. We are not fear and panic. We are preparation and eager anticipation.

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Success happens when preparation meets opportunity. One of the greatest sayings of all time. There is a feast being prepared for those who love the Lord, who trust in Him, and who are called according to His purposes.

There is a feast, and it is coming. And I want you to be a part of it with me.

New Year’s Resolutions: An Arbitrary Time for Change

By Jenni Hammitt on
two hands holding sparklers in the dark

I personally am not a fan of new Years Resolutions. I like making an effort to better myself in the new year, but the whole making lofty goals and having a deadline for making said goals just bothers me. Maybe it is because I’m still under the delusion that I’m a non-conformist, but I just don’t get the draw.

I agree that the start of a new year is a great time to put things in perspective and to be all introspective. Maybe I’m just a chronic over thinker or just too cynical, but why do we wait until the beginning of the year to implement things to better ourselves?

I am all about having goals to improve ourselves and our lives. I think these are things we need to work on and build on through out the year. For me putting the pressure of having a start date and the stigma of it being a promise makes me more apt to fail.

I want to lose weight, but that is something that I work on at my own pace. I try some things that work, and I keep with them. I find other things that do not, and I put those aside. It is something I am doing for myself, and while the failures are discouraging, it isn’t enough to make me up and quit.

One thing that bugs me about resolutions is that instead of doing something to better yourself now, we allow ourselves to hold on to bad habits until January 1st. I get that we may put the diet on hold and indulge a little during the holidays. However, sometimes I see people who just use that January 1st start date as an excuse to keep going with their eating habits a little longer.

If you start your diet before the holidays, and then indulge a little, yes you will put on a few pounds, but once you return to your healthy eating habits and regular exercise routine, those will easily come off.

Another thing that worries me about resolutions is the lack of planning. I had a good friend of mine tell me he was going to quit smoking and cut back to eight cigarettes on New Years Day. I sat next to him New Years Eve and he probably smoked eight cigarettes in five hours. 

If you are going to make a big change in your life, it is not always wise (or in some cases healthy), to just jump into a drastic change. I guess I don’t see how some resolutions are even possible without some planning.

If you have a resolution (or resolutions), I wish you the best of luck. I hope you made them realistic, and have plans to reach your goals. If you do not, I hope this new year brings you new and hopefully successful ways to work on improving you through out the year…and on your own timeline.

Avoiding the Big-Box Shopping this Christmas

By Rachel Hines on

As someone who loves shopping and going to the mall, you would never take me as the person to say that I would much rather do my Christmas shopping in small-town Ontario.

Every year for Christmas, my best friend and I make the trek to Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario to do the bulk of our Christmas shopping. What is so special about NOTL is that it is a very small and quaint area, filled with Canadian history and tradition. The shops in the downtown core are unique and filled with things you would never find at a mall or outlet store.

I have found some of the nicest presents for my family and items for myself while shopping in NOTL. Stores like Ten Thousands Villages that only carries pieces made from people in third world countries, and where the majority of the proceeds go directly to those who made the items. The people who staff the store are working on a volunteer basis, so it’s nice to know that charity and kindness is still alive and well.

There are also specialty stores, like the store that sells products from and influenced by Japan and Japanese culture, hat, candy, and even tea shops. One of my favourite stores is tucked away off the main strip, and sells classic movies and film memorabilia. Last year, I was able to find a film that I had been searching for online for years, but I found it there.

It is an experience that I always look forward to. It is never busy in the shops or on the streets, I never have to hunt for parking spots, or even get annoyed with the over abundance of people trying to get their shopping done as well.

I’m not a big fan of small towns, but there is something so special about Niagara-on-the-Lake and the picturesque shops, bed and breakfasts, and horse and buggy rides that rings Romantic.

Every town or city has their own Niagara-on-the-Lake, and hopefully people can get the experience of avoiding line-ups, chatting with genuine people who love their jobs and purchasing gifts you know the person receiving will love.

Online Dating Versus Twitter

By Rachel Hines on

We’ve all been there – that REALLY lonely stage in life. You just broke up with your significant other, and now what? It’s too early to start serious dating again, but not too soon to mingle.

Okay, I admit it: I found myself lost amid the myriad faces of online dating, but often times I stopped myself from doing anything else but looking. There  were countless moments where I would be searching for hours only to step outside of my body, slap the back of my head, and say, “What the hell are you doing?!”

Not having been in a relationship for almost two years has been a bit of a mixed bag, pros and cons if you will.

For some reason, my family is fixated on me not having, and getting a boyfriend.  It seems as though every time I see certain family members, they always ask where my boyfriend is. “I don’t have one,” I always reply, as the knife that is already lodged into my heart travels a little deeper. “Why not?” OK, here we go. “I don’t really need one.” “But don’t you want a boyfriend?” they always follow up with. Ah, there’s the rub; the separation of needs and wants. Sure, I want a boyfriend, but I definitely don’t need one.

The ever growing pressure from my family to find a guy and settle down with, and the equally growing pressure watching my friends and the people I went to high school and university with their significant others, getting married, and having children, puts a lot of pressure on me to find Mr. Right, right now.

The whole online dating thing got me thinking recently. Dating is made up of awkward small talk of getting to know one another, so why not to that from the comfort of your own home. I think that Twitter is a really interesting social tool, and is the perfect device for making small talk since users are only allowed 140 characters of text; perfect for small talk, chatting, and of course, flirting.

It is a networking tool, but it’s not that Twitter was intended to be used as an online dating site, but I think it would be interesting to see just how many people meet, go on dates and even continue into long term relationships because of the Twitter website and service.

I have been making many connections, and have made a lot of new friends through Twitter, so who knows what the future will bring for me, or anyone else using the site. Life is full of surprises, so we may as well embrace them.

To Have, To Hold, and To Submit?

By Lisa Pawlowski on

One afternoon, when my husband and I were watching my son’s soccer game, a woman I had never met before was eager to share with me something she had just discovered.

“I tell you what. I never knew happiness until I learned to submit to my husband.” At first, I tried to politely ignore her and act like I was really into the game, even during those times when my son was sitting on the bench drinking water. But she persisted.

“Yep. It’s just the way the Bible says. A woman is meant to submit to her husband.”

At this, I couldn’t resist. “Submit? Submit? Where in the Bible does it say that?” She quoted the book and verse and I forgot it after she told me. Also, I have never felt compelled to look it up since then. It’s been my experience that people who are familiar with obscure Bible verses, and have them at the ready, are the same ones who can extrapolate the oddest meaning out of the simplest phrase.

I looked around for my husband to see his reaction to all of this. Mercifully, he was prowling the sidelines watching the game and hadn’t heard any of the conversation. “It’s so freeing when you submit to your husband,” she continued.

I snorted, “Yeah, that way when he messes up really bad, or misjudges a situation, you can sit back and say it’s all his fault.” To show her displeasure, the woman gave me a very un-Christian-like glare and moved her chair a few feet away. 

The word submit has never been in the wedding vows and it’s an antiquated notion anymore to even have the word obey remain. Most brides bristle at the word and have it taken it out. I don’t know why the woman was trying to sell me on her idea that women should be submissive to their husbands.

My thought on the subject was, “If you’re happy with it, good for you. But don’t get into my business and tell me I’m wrong.” Generally, the way my marriage works is, which ever one of us wants something the most, that person is usually who wins out. If we disagree on something, we debate it and try to convince the other why we’re right.

After the game, as we were walking back to the car, I told my husband about the woman’s gall. He said he liked the way our marriage was like a partnership. He didn’t want to be married to someone who was willing to keep her mouth shut and go along with whatever whim came to his mind, precisely for the reason I’d mentioned to the woman. If we both made a decision that went horribly wrong, we both would have a share in the blame.

Life’s too complex and stressful to have just one person in charge all the time. A marriage works better when both have equal say in what happens.

Maturity Schmurity: What Does Acting Your Age Really Mean?

By Brandy Harville on

Someone told me the other day that I should act my age to which I responded “What does that even mean?” Honestly, how exactly is someone pushing 30 supposed to behave? Should I be reading the New York Timers, discussing the economy while checking stock trades on my iPhone? Well I’m not, and frankly I’m okay with that.

I enjoy being an easily amused individual who doesn’t “act her age”. Not only do Ienjoy it, I embrace the level of maturity I lack in everyday life. What is so fun about being “mature” anyway? Mature people pay bills, have responsibility, hate their jobs, cuss in traffic and look forward to 5 o’clock; I do all of that because it’s part of being an adult. 

However, while I have no problem being a responsible adult, it’s not something I thoroughly enjoy most of the time. I don’t giggle while paying bills, smile while sitting in traffic, or look forward to medical checkups and morning staff meetings.

I do enjoy road trips with my friends, ordering a kid’s meal if the toy is cool, grabbing a coloring book if I’m in the mood, playing in the toy aisle and finding entertainment from time to time on both Disney Channel and Nickelodeon.

And while I know I could be brushed off as someone who doesn’t want to let go of their youth, I choose to see myself as someone who embraces the sillier parts of life.

I’m single with no children, much to the dismay of my mother, who in comparison had been married for almost a decade with 2 children by the time she was my age. My daily life doesn’t revolve around baby-sitters, mortgages and college funds. Instead, I’m trying to decide what concert I will attend this weekend, which out of town friends to go visit and that I’ve sent off the next student loan payment.

Do these things make me less mature? To some people, I’m a slacker who refuses to grow up. But what do they know? The days of the Cleaver’s and Brady’s are dead and gone. The unwritten rule stating we should go to college, get married, buy a house, and have kids by 30 is no longer the norm.

Sure, plenty of people still follow that life plan and that’s fine and dandy; but many people are bucking tradition, which I think is rad. Yes, you read that correctly. I used the word “rad.” I’m bringing it back, so help me out and use it in conversation later today.

OK, that was off topic. Back to those crazy pseduo-adults.

Maybe the college graduates of today don’t get married until 35 or 40. Maybe they skip college to become an intern and work their way up the corporate ladder. Maybe they pass on the family and white picket fence for a stylish urban loft and a job that allows them to travel the world. Where is the problem in all of this?

There is no right or wrong way to live your life. I don’t recommend aspiring to become a homeless crackhead, but as long as you are happy, who am I to judge? I love my life, and despite not being where I saw myself at this age, I couldn’t be happier (well, not unless I won a million tax free dollars – nonetheless I’m content).

So maybe I’ll never read the New York Times and I probably won’t own an iPhone anytime soon. Yet somehow, I will manage. I’m still waiting on someone to tell me what “acting my age” really means; apparently I didn’t get a copy of the manual that provides details on how one’s behavior should change with each passing birthday.

There are all sorts of things I could toss out right now: “You’re only as old as you feel” or “Age is nothing but a number.” While both make my point about age and maturity, I could also just turn to the next person telling me to act my age, put my thumb to my nose, wiggle my fingers and stick out my tongue. How mature.

Online Dating: True Love or Worst Enemy?

By Cherame Markwardt on
man kissing woman's hand on a date

OK, so to all my single people out there who think they are ready to be in a relationship, what is really going on? Online dating sites say that 80% or more single people find love on their sites. Now, most of us think “Wow! Maybe that percentage includes me!”

And with our hearts wide open to all the wonderful possibilities of love, we set up our profiles, take our very best pictures, and truly believe anything is possible.

Then you anxiously await the first round of messages to come pouring in. Once they do and you go through them you find one in every ten to be exciting. You talk to them and you get that “Butterfly Effect” in your stomach and you stay up later than usual on the computer or maybe you even exchange phone numbers.

The next step is you start to feel like “This could be the One” you will find yourself falling in love and then just as fast as it starts it is over.

Why is this? Well from the way I see it, the problem is you. That’s right. You! Harsh as it may sound, I mean it in a loving way. First of all we make ourselves venerable to heartbreak. We put such high expectations on ourselves and other people. Don’t get me wrong I still want to believe that everyone deserves their own fairytale but what they forget to teach you is that you make your own fairytales and it is usually not the way you picture it.

Most people in a relationship have “settled” outside of what they really want because of the fear of being alone. Doesn’t mean you are not happy just means you have made it work for you.

Online dating is an easy way for you to be yourself personality-wise almost everything else money, job, lifestyle etc..  are what you wish them to be. And we all know how to take our “Best Pictures” so you have already started your “New Relationship with a lie!”  Then once the truth is reveled the relationship is over as fast as it began.

Now your left with another sore taste in your mouth and a little crack in your heart. So my friends I say unto you, if you most test the waters of online dating do it with the notion that it is just for fun.

Don’t take things so seriously and make sure you talk to someone for a while in a REALconversation. Pay close attention to the answers they give because that way its easier to smell your rat! And above all things Guard your hearts with all you have because real love is out there and will be best found when your not looking for it.

7 Steps to Surviving the TV Writer’s Strike

By Daniel Dessinger on · Follow: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter

Who should we hate for the lack of content on tv? Do we blame the writers or the executives? Possibly both, but that doesn’t really matter.

What matters is finding a Prime Time replacement for all the shows I usually enjoy. Due to the recent lack of watch-worthy content, I’ve chosen seven solid steps to survive the strike.

YouTube

If you haven’t been to YouTube lately, I think you’ll be surprised by some of the content there. Everything from music videos to interviews to mini episodes. Weeks worth of entertainment just sitting there waiting for you. Just be careful how you search. “Stupid” takes on a whole new level of meaning when it comes to Americans and home video. 

Tv Shows on DVD

One of my favorite pastimes is to find a tv series I never watched or rarely watched in the past and watch episode after episode. That’s how I got hooked on LOST, Battlestar Galactica, Nero Wolfe, Monk, and Roswell. They’re shows worth watching that I just missed the first time around. Shows I would avoid include Weeds, any Law & Order, and any CSI. 

RSS Feeds

I have something like 45 feeds in my feed reader. Who has time to read fresh content daily from 40 sites? So now I get to catch up on the news, tips, and deep thoughts around the world. In addition to that, I’m taking this time to be more selective with my feeds. I’m whittling it down to a solid 30 soon. Oh, the decisions!

StumbleUpon

This is one of the coolest websites/web applications ever. When I want to find something cool online that I’ve never seen before, I click “Stumble” with my StumbleUpon Firefox toolbar, and it takes me to other cool sites that people have submitted.

People randomly surf the web, and when they find something interesting, they click a button on their SU toolbar and SU begins to share it with everyone else. Visit StumbleUpon, download the toolbar for Firefox, and start stumbling! 

Blogging

I own more blogs than is healthy for any one individual NOT working for himself. Who has time to blog daily on one site, much less seven?!?!? Not me. I just like to purchase domain names and throw up a WordPress theme.

Of course, then I can’t not post a few blogs because the empty space saddens me. But if you’re like me and own even ONE blog, you can take this time to establish yourself as a daily blogger – one who is worth returning to each new morning. 

Family Time

I’m now spending more time with my wife and baby girl. How can I complain about that? Answer: I can’t. It’s time well spent. Every time I look into Kathryn’s face, I know that she will only grow older and I will never regain this time when she has the cutest chubby cheeks and facial expressions. I savor this time, knowing that time is fleeting and she will someday be a grown woman with her own family. 

There are dozens of things you can do to avoid boredom and Prime Time Depression. What do YOU do to chase those blues away? 

The Encore Azalea: Queen of the Flower Bed

By Aaron Phillips on

Encore Azaleas are one of my favorite bushes to plant. You can use them in many different ways in landscape concepts and designs they can be used as a colorful back drop or in front of a green back drop of bushes as a different level or as an accent at the corners of a flower bed.

Encore Azaleas have a nice evergreen leaf and look great even when they’re not blooming. When they do bloom in the spring, summer, and fall, they are gorgeous. Encore Azaleas come in about 20 different colors: mostly pinks, reds, oranges, purples and whites. My favorites are the Monarchs and Royalty.

Encore Azaleas are easy to care for. The key to healthy Encore Azaleas is proper soil, environment, watering and fertilizing. When I plant Encores I always use peat moss which retains water well and is ideal for the plant. Azaleas are also an acid loving plant, so they need the proper fertilizer. You can actually buy fertilizers made specifically for Azaleas.

Azaleas can withstand the North Texas heat, but I prefer to plant them in areas that get plenty of shade. They seem to thrive in shaded environments. Encores also need plenty of water, so always plant them in flowerbeds that have an adequate irrigation system*.

The Encore Azalea is definitely a great way to go when planting a new bed. Their vibrant, delicate blooms speak for themselves.

* for more information on how to plant and care for Encore Azaleas, visit Terra Firma Landscaping website.

Good Communicators: When NOT to Speak

By Daniel Dessinger on · Follow: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter

Not everyone is a good communicator. That’s fairly obvious. What isn’t so obvious, or at least commonly discussed, is when it’s a good time for even talented communicators to zip the lip. Some of you communicators out there feel entitled to speak at all times, given the fact that when you do speak, people understand what is being said. 

Having a gift isn’t the same as being mature, however. This is where people get confused. There are many skilled communicators who are VERY immature. There are various reasons for stunted growth in social and emotional areas, and we won’t cover all the reasons why this happens today.

After some honest reflection, it’s rather obvious to me that a gifted communicator will get away with a lot more immaturity than others, if for no other reason than because he or she can talk a good game. Sadly, knowing words and how to use them does mean that you are the embodiment of their concepts.

Politicians are the perfect example. Eloquent words of peace, new beginnings, and reform are always popular subjects for political speeches. Does anyone really believe that these men and women espouse their stated ideals?

People learn to say what it takes to get results. Period. Children learn this at an early age. If good behavior doesn’t attract attention, then bad behavior is the next choice. If that gets results, the child tries it again later. Eventually, a child learns what is effective and what isn’t. The ends justifies the means.

Until you grow up… at least, that’s the hope. Hopefully, you eventually reach a certain point where you weigh the pros and the cons and make intelligent decisions, sometimes accepting the more difficult road in light of the costs of the easy road.

Gifted communicators learn early on that the right words unlock the right doors. They find that if they can simply study words and the responses they elicit, the right combination of words can be found each time to elicit the desired response.

For an immature communicator, this means that people and words become mathematical equations. Plug the right symbols into the right places and the equation works perfectly.

Sadly, this means that some communicators spend more time studying how to manipulate people than how to mean what they say. These orators have the gift of gab, and it’s their ticket to the big time just like stunning looks allow some women to get whatever they want without ever developing a deeper personality.

I guess it’s the same deal as always, different details. Football stars make their way through life on their athletic talent. Musicians and singers get what they want because of their ability. Models get what they want because they’re beautiful. And talkers get what they want because they know the right words to say. 

All of these giftings may require some discipline to hone or maintain, but we all tend to gravitate towards what we do best. We all want praise and we all want to feel valuable. 

The biggest challenge for a gifted communicator will be learning when to remain silent. You may know the right words to get what you want, but can you walk the talk? If you’re not speaking from life experience or sincere belief, chances are your mouth will write checks your character can’t cash.

Just remember that silence can be more profitable than the right words, if it means that you don’t overextend yourself. Do what you say. That’s character. If you can’t do it, don’t say it. 

You’re only as good as your word. 

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